NaPoWriMo Day Nine: Letter of Complaint (An Aubade)


MorningI’m writing to let you know
that the morning I purchased from you
recently, has so far failed abysmally
to live up to expectations.
I’m sure you’ll understand
when I explain in detail
each of my frustrations.

Firstly, the milder weather
promised in your campaign on TV
has simply not materialised; I was
mildly surprised to find my nose
was numb when I woke up and I
could see my breath. For an
April morning that is not
at all what I expect!

Secondly, it was still dark
though traffic could be heard
throughout the city. Now I know
I ordered light. If I had wanted night,
that’s what I would have said!
But as you know, I ticked ‘Spring morning’,
bright and pretty, and without the
traffic roaring in my head!

– where were the birds?
– where were the quiet tones
of early morn? Even at dawn all I
could hear was the raging scream of my
alarm which somehow managed to be
both deafeningly near my ear and yet
too far away to see, resulting in
an unacceptably long (and noisy)
interlude before quiet resumed
and I could sip my tea.

Overall, I have been
thoroughly traumatised
by your creation and in mitigation
would like at least four hours returned
to sleep in undisturbed repose.
I’d also like some kind of
fleecy warmer for my nose.
Given what your morning
has put me through, I feel that
it’s the least that you could do.

Author’s Note: Once again, inspired by (but not necessarily sticking to) the NaPoWriMo prompts – this prompt was from Day Six and was to write an ‘Aubade’. Follow the link at the bottom to read about the Aubade in more detail. This one is definitely not typical! TDx


NaPoWriMo Day Eight: It Could be Me!


Yesterday’s prompt was to write a poem about money, so I did (after a fashion). Here it is. TDx

Pile of British bank notes.When I win the Lottery, I’ll probably
spend it all in one go, like on houses
or for once (maybe) go on holiday.

Perhaps I’ll give up work and spend my time
browsing the Internet for a new helicopter
slash car slash boat slash designer top
to buy with the interest on my change,

or maybe hire some people to rearrange
my furniture in a thousand different (but
meaningful) Feng Shue ways.


NaPoWriMo Day Seven: Note on the Fridge


So, as always, I’m very out of sync with the prompts, but I rather liked the idea of writing a break-up poem (from the Day Four prompt) that didn’t include any of the traditional language of break up. I’m not sure that’s entirely what I’ve achieved, but anyway, here it is:

Fridge noteI’m taking the baby; I left you the cat
I’ve got the blue plates – you keep my red hat
for all that it’s worth – it always looked
better on you.

That CD we made at a quarter to three
in the morning, the night I gave birth
when you couldn’t stop smiling at me,
I’m taking that too.

It’s all I have left of the man that was you.

That lover who wooed me with coffee and pie;
who closed the bar early and sat with me
quiet, over whisky and rye.
The man that I loved,

he doesn’t exist. When I thought you were
chilled out and groovy, and oh so, so cool,
You were (mostly) just pissed.

Now I need a grown up. A thing you won’t be
for a while yet, at least, so
I guess that just leaves me with… me.

There’s not much you can do, I’m afraid:
I’ve already decided; it’s done.
I’m leaving you, see.


NaPoWriMo Day Six: Not Going Out


Today’s poem was inspired by the Day One prompt, to write a poem of negation (describing something in terms of what it is not). I haven’t followed the suggested form, but I wanted to create a poem where what is said is not at all what is meant. It’s a sad little tale. Sorry – I do in fact have a cold today which is making me grumpy, I’m afraid. I hope you like it anyway! TDx

Don’t tell me I look fine – I know I don’t;
the shoes I bought don’t fit me
and they hurt my toes.

My dress is the wrong shape and it doesn’t fit.
My make-up has gone wrong
and I look a twit.

I haven’t found the handbag with the blue
to go with my coat, and match
my favourite shoes.

Overall, I think I’m just getting too old
for dating and on top of that
I have a cold.

I’ll just stay in with Lemsip and a glass of brandy;
curl up with the cat and several packs
of Handy Andies.

I never really liked him, so it’s no great loss.
I’m fine – I’m happy on my own:
don’t make a fuss!


NaPoWriMo Day Five: Easter Gifts


It’s Easter and I’m thinking
about chocolate, when really
I should be thinking of
a much bigger gift.

But one is all around me
and the other is, to
many folk, a myth.

I don’t believe in chocolate, myself;
it’s all a hoax. The serotonin
it produces is a trick.

You’ll pay for it later,
believe me, but everything else
has already been accounted for, and paid.

Sometimes the biggest gifts
are the hardest to accept.
An egg – that’s easy. Much harder
to accept an open grave.


NaPoWriMo Day Four: A 24 Fourteener!


Just a bit of fun today – I thought I would follow yesterday’s NaPoWriMo prompt, and write a fourteener. Here is the prompt in full:

‘Today I challenge you to write a fourteener. Fourteeners can have any number of lines, but each line should have fourteen syllables. Traditionally, each line consisted of seven iambic feet (i.e., an unstressed syllable followed by a stressed syllable, times seven), but non-iambic fourteeners also exist. The fourteener was popular in 16th and 17th century England, where it was particular common in ballads, but it also is the form in which “Casey at the Bat” is written. The form is versatile enough to encompass any subject matter, but as the example of “Casey at the Bat” shows us, it is particularly useful in narrative poetry, due to the long line and the step-like sense of progression created by the iambs.’

I’ve been watching 24: Live Another Day this week, so that is the subject of my fourteener. I thought I needed to lighten the mood a bit after three days of being somewhat sombre and serious – so here it is – enjoy!

Jack Bauer 2I’m watching as Jack Bauer kicks down a door dressed all in black
(I’m fantasising that he’s on his way to get me back).
I know that Audrey Boudreau (who was Raines) is on his mind;
he loves her and by leaving he was only being kind.

Of course we know that everyone Jack loves is bound to die
(at some point) and it’s why today he’s such a troubled guy.
His grim-faced lack of charm is why he always comes to grief
(but can’t explain why girls are always falling at his feet!)

First Teri, Nina, Kate, then Audrey, briefly then Diane,
then Audrey once again, because she really loved the man.
And what about poor Marilyn, who was Jack’s brother’s wife?
Between them, you could cut the sexual tension with a knife!

And finally of course, there was Renee by season eight
But she would not have long to live once Jack became her mate.
Shot, because of what she knew, while Jack was getting drinks;
of course her death would send him on a frenzied killing jink!

And now he is a terrorist, still trying to save the world.
Specifically the president (and father of his girl);
that’s Audrey there I mean of course – she’s back, with those big eyes
but now with husband Mark in tow – ‘Not Bauer again!’ he cries

‘that man – he does more damage than a demolition gang!
He left you in a catatonic state, last time he rang!’
So Mark will do just anything to keep Jack Bauer away
(which is going to somewhat hamper Jack’s attempt to save the day).

But luckily, O’Brien’s on board (the magic IT whizz),
though she’s had troubles of her own and rather lost her fizz.
She’s gone a little emo, all black eyeliner and scowls,
yet still she’ll always back up Jack when he is on the prowl.

There’s also Kate, disgraced (and fired), but trained by CIA;
she’s bright, she’s sharp, she breaks the rules and now she’s MIA!
It looks as though in spite of all, she has Jack’s back as well.
The new love interest? Possibly, but only time will tell!

And now I have to go because it’s only 4pm:
there’s lots of time for Jack to go and save the world again
and British PM Stephen Fry’s about to lose his cool,
so poetry will have to wait – I’m watching Jack Bauer rule!


NaPoWriMo Day Three: Burying Bad News


Odd. That’s all we talked about:
The Leaders’ debate – who won
and who hates whom, and who
had to shout. Who did well
and which party might do better
now in May; who had clout.
And yet that very day we
had the news that bad things
were coming. We need to talk about
that. But we don’t want to – so instead
we talk about the Greens and how
with Bennett’s big improvement
they might now get marginally ahead.
Or how Nick Clegg looked good
but couldn’t get elected now and how
we wish we lived in Scotland
because Sturgeon was amazing.

And you wince when you talk
and I say nothing, because pain isn’t
made any better by complaining.